Wednesday, December 2, 2009

In Defense of the Little Red Flame

I am feeling rather controversial this morning, so let us begin.

The past few days I have received numerous invites to join a group page titled,

"1,000,000 to join, my dad john mellencamp will quit smoking".

I have questioned why several of my friends would send this invite to me, knowing that I, too, smoke. I do not think though, that they were trying to insinuate something to me when they did. That is not the point of this blog.

Believe it or not, smokers are very well aware of the health risks we take by smoking. How could we not know when we have had it CRAMMED down our throats the past 10+ years?

For the non-smokers who are reading this, do you know the health risks involved with alcoholic beverages? How about the health risks involved with high intakes of caffeine? I don't drink beer nor do I drink coffee. I think both of these things are vile and of the devil. Would you like for me to point those things out for you every time you want to have a beer or two? How about I start harping on you every time you purchase or make yourself a nice hot cup of java when I am in your presence? Do you think that possibly you would be annoyed with the complaining after a while?

Of course right now, alcohol and caffeine are perfectly acceptable. Fifteen years ago, smoking was perfectly acceptable too. Mark my words, one day, all of your little addictions will become taboo among society's standards. And when it happens, I am going to sit back, laugh and remind you of what you did to smokers rights. And yes, if we are of legal age to smoke, it is just as much our right to do so, as much as it is your right to have a cup or two of coffee.

I generally smoke more when I am stressed. It is my "coping mechanism". If you would like to increase my chances to stop smoking, quit stressing me out with your constant whining and complaining to me about my smoking. I do not complain that you don't smoke and try to force a cigarette in your mouth to light it. Quit forcing not smoking on me. I am happy the most when I smoke. When I have a fresh dose of nicotine, I like the general public more, and the general public likes me more. If you think that I am opinionated now.... LOL! Imagine what I am like when I try to quit smoking!

When a smoker decides to quit smoking for another person, the chances of them succeeding are slim. We will succeed at quitting when we do it for ourselves and when we are ready to quit.

As for me, I quit smoking each time I put a cigarette out.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Who wears short shorts??

I have swallowed my injured pride enough to write about my experience with the new Nair Shower Power product. I feel it is my duty to share my episode with every woman who is contemplating this product.

I saw the commercial and I think that drool literally spilled from the corner of my mouth.. Most women my age are like me.. Tired of shaving. Most of us started around age 11-13 because it was the cool thing to do. Nothing said "grown up" like walking into school around that age with newly shaven legs. It is a passage into woman-hood. By the time you are in your 30's and have a couple of kids... you are lucky to even get a shower each and every day.. Let alone shave your legs on a regular basis. We are sick of it and start to envy men on the fact that if they don't want to shave... they don't have to. However... if we walk around looking like Sasquatch.... We are eeewie.

So I went to my local Wal-Mart and saw that Nair has a Shower Power for sensitive skin.. JACKPOT!!! I read the label and hahaha!!! It is safe for bikini lines!! (Cue the Hallelujah Chorus!!!) I threw my gift from God into the cart and proudly paraded around while I finished my shopping.

Later on that evening, I decided I was going to try out my new found shaving wonder cure.... Tim watched me half laughing, but managed to talk to me through the smirks and muffled laughs. "Are you gonna do your bikini line??" I thought about it... read the tube again and thought.... "Eh.. why not.. Let's go all out!!" Mistake numero uno.. I thought about it. I finished foaming up my legs and ..... hmmm... this kinda burns a bit.....

I started to step in the shower and gasped..I think I saw my life flash before my eyes "Dear God... just kill me... take me right now... The pain!!!" Of course.. Tim saw the look on my face and laughed while asking if I was alright.... I just looked at him and replied with.. "BRING ON THE PAIN!!!" I want to explain ... it was not my legs that were on fire..

The words that I had read not even 3 minutes prior crossed my mind...


Pffffft... Whose??? Did they give that person an epidural??? Were they alive?? Were they given a local anesthetic first??

While I quickly washed up I realized something.. I had to rub the crap off.... I wanted to die right then and there. Tim was making a failed attempt to hide and muffle his chuckle still. I reached for the exfoliating sponge that it came with and gently wiped in a circular motion...........

OH THE HUMANITY!! In my mind I was talking like Ricky Bobby in Talledega Nights.. "Dear Lord Baby Jesus....."

This is something that should be used in terrorist interrogations!!! I finally finished up everything.. ran the hot water out in the process... You never realize just how grateful you are for not having anymore hot water until you receive a chemical burn in your most sensitive areas.

It did stay on while in the shower like the commercials say it will, but I walked like a bow legged cowboy for two days.

I will be sticking to the razor from now on.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

New Moon... (More like let's see what we can screw up this time)

Let's discuss the "New Moon" movie coming out in November. For those of you who have been living under a rock for the past couple years, "New Moon" is the sequel to the "Twilight" novel.

Anyone who knows me at all, knows that I am a HUGE "Twilight" fan! Huge as in, I read all four books in a week, huge. And as soon as I get the first book back from a good friend of mine, I will read the series again and again. Anyhow, I was all geared up and patiently/anxiously waiting for the movie to come out. Even dragged my poor husband and one of our closest friends to see it. I bought the T-shirt, brushed up on the book a little bit.. I WAS READY.

I either should not have read the book first
I should not have watched the movie at all.

It was HORRIBLE! As I sat and watched Mutilation of Twilight, I was dumbfounded and constantly saying 'Whaaaaaaaaaaat?" or "That's not the way it happened!!!" I think Tim (my husband) was getting a bit frustrated with my rambling to myself during the movie. It was bad enough that I was looking for the nearest spork to gouge out my eyes with, but I subjected my poor husband and friend to it as well. I will never be able to make up for this evil act. I left the theater ranting and raving. I believe I even inflicted carpal tunnel on myself by texting all of my friends who read it, to warn them that it was dreadful and I was TICKED!!

I wanted to find out what other viewers thought of it.. Mistake #2. I read all of the postings on different blog sites about how people absolutely looooooved the movie and OMG it was so awesome!! And that they were going to go see it over and over again. While reading these people's reactions, I sat here with a blank look on my face and tilted my head thinking, "I wish I would not have paid the first $8.00 to see it.. and they are going to pay repeatedly to watch this slaughter-fest?"

I have questioned many times if they even read the same books that I did. Maybe I read some secret special version of the "Twilight" series that I am just not aware of. That has to be it!

In case you couldn't tell, I'm still a tad bit miffed about it all.

All of this venting brings me to this..

Tonight, one of my best friends/sistah sent me a text message telling me to go to YouTube and check out the trailer for the movie sequel "New Moon". So I did, in hopes that maybe there was some promise for this movie. *Le Sigh* The trailer has made me thankful for a little thing called Red Box movie rental. That way... if I have a lapse in good judgement and decide to watch the movie as punishment for things I have done wrong in my life , I will have only wasted $1.00 instead of $8.00.

Seriously? Can we please at least follow major points of the book? I understand that some things need to be tweaked here and there for time allowance and effect. But when you are changing and have a complete disregard for major highlights that are crucial to the entire story line (that is pertinent to the entire series), I must take a moment to question the sanity of the screen writers, directors and producers.

Please... for the love of all that is holy.... STOP THE MADNESS!!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Oh yay!!! I'm a bigot and racist now!!!! Fantastic!!! pfft

As some of you may or may not know.. I regular social sites often. First Myspace.. (which btw Tom.. YOUR SITE SUCKS NOW!!) and now Facebook. I can honestly say that I have enjoyed Facebook a million times better than I ever did Myspace. Anyhow. I post notes on there regularly and last night, I posted a note (ON MY PAGE mind you!) which was an email that I had gotten. I liked it, agreed with it.. and wanted to pass it along. It was an email about a letter that a school teacher wrote to President Obama.

So.. I tagged all of my friends who I thought might enjoy the read and WHAMMO!! I had some idiot, that I do not even know.... call me, my friends and my family a bigot and racist simply because I do not agree with Obama. He continued to tell me and my friends that the current situation the U.S is in now did not start with Obama (which I agree) but that we are all blaming him simply because he's black. Here... I will just show you what was said... I of course will remove the name out of respect of anonymity... Although I shouldn't.. but I am a bigger person here.

Idiot at 10:23pm May 19
"Now in five months that he has been in office we have blame him for everything the past prez and his father has done we are quick to scrutinized everything he is doing and not giving him a chance why because he is black. None of you scrutinize bush this hard his 5th month in office and he did nothing about 9/11 all the american people who died ... Read Morewhile he read books to children. the pay cuts you are takrn now are the result of what he did not Obama, Once again you bigots need to realize what you are saying. The word Bigot may be hard but because you are judging him on color and not networth. We are a country of net worth I served in the marines for 12 years and I served in iraq, I served in beruit and some of what was in between. What have you done for your country.. Think Think Think before you talk because half of you just listen to the press haters and not looking to the other side."

First of all... I am a proud American who supports our troops.. and would like to thank this man for serving our country and fighting to protect our freedoms. I know many of my friends who are reading this are probably falling out of their chairs that I am doing this. But pick your jaws up off the floor now and continue reading.

One of those freedoms though that he has fought to protect is: The 1st Amendment to the United States Bill of Rights which says that I have freedom of speech.. Whether spoken or written.

Seriously.. Just because I did not vote nor do I like the things that Obama wants to do or is doing... I'm automatically a racist? I am going to take a wild stab in the dark and say that this person did not vote for Bush.. (I'm most likely right in that guess) Is it because George Bush is white? Is it because he is from Texas? Would it be safe to assume that this man voted for Obama strictly because Obama is black? Let's face it.. there are many people who did just that. They didn't care what his stance was politically.. they only cared that they wanted to vote for the black man.. Which by the way you moronic imbociles.. Obama IS HALF WHITE TOO!!! But I guess that makes me equally racist against whites also because I did not vote for him.

NEVER once have I even remotely insinuated that these problems we are facing today started the day that Barack Hussein Obama became the 44th President of the U.S.A. The problems started when we started electing greedy ass politicians, who are only out for their best interests, as leaders and officials of our country. Our leaders are not representing us anymore. They are representing themselves and their own ideals. Let's face it ya'll.. at this point.. It's every man for him/herself.

After I gave it much thought last night after he made his immature, unsolicited, uneducated and poor grammatical comment on my page.. I had to sit down and seriously laugh at his ignorance. Mainly because the email that I posted was in no way racist!! LOL! It was a letter that a woman wrote talking about how much she disagreed with how he has handled things politically so far.

Despite that I don't agree with Obama politically ( Which.. when it was all said and done.. I didn't agree with Bush either. And I voted for the man!!) I respect the office of the President of the United States. I respect Obama as a man. But do I respect HIM because HE is the President?? No.. I don't. Respect is something that is earned not freely given because of a position or title that person holds. As of this point, Obama has done nothing to earn my respect as President.

It is amazing how the political race of 2008 became an election turned into a racial matter. Let's keep our eye on the ball here please. *eye roll*

If I think of anything more that I wish to add to this.. I will at a later time. Otherwise.. That is all I have to say on this subject.