Tell Me Lies, Tell Me Sweet Little Lies

Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.  Remember that line?  Seems like there are all sorts of people in my midst who never learned the moral of that story.  Perhaps more of them should re-watch Pinocchio and aspire to "be a real boy".  And for the record-- there are no white lies, exaggerations are lies, omitting pieces of truth to a story or situation is a lie, hiding the truth is a lie, betrayal of a persons trust and confidence is a lie.... the list can go on and on.   

I have told lies in my past.  I also HATE that part of my past.  I generally got caught and was in trouble for it.  I finally got to a point that if I'm going to get in trouble anyway-- I may as well just get the truth out and get it over with. Now I am at the point, personally, that I am almost too honest. 

Here's the funny thing about deception-- it absolutely kills trust.  It kills relationships between friends, siblings, marriages, parent/child relationships, etc.  Each and every lie you get caught in defeats the apology that was given for the time before.   I forgive a person who apologizes, but when I am lied to repeatedly-- it gets very hard to forgive and forget.  Being lied to and betrayed insults my intelligence.  Why not just look at me and say, "You are too stupid to ever find out the truth."?  

If you are going to be involved in my life at all-- do not betray me, do not lie to me, and do not apologize if you have no intentions of changing.  It may take some time, but I WILL ALWAYS learn the truth.  When I start to pull away, and you wonder why-- think back to all the deceptions and betrayals, the little white lies and then assume I have learned the truth. 

Right now may be a good time to confess to anyone you have lied to or betrayed.  They probably already know, but if you go to them about it, there may be hope to salvage whatever relationship you damaged. 

This is a joke--- RIGHT?

Been a little bewildered for many hours tonight and having a difficult time putting together the words to write this blog.  The cause of my confusion?  An invitation to a baby shower.

Only, the invitation was not for me--it was for my 9 year old daughter to attend the baby shower of her friends 14 year old sister. 

This has to be a joke. 
 

I realize that we all make mistakes and some we may later regret.  But I have a very (VERY) hard time entertaining the thought of my daughter joining in festivities to celebrate the pregnancy of a girl who is only 4 1/2 years older than she is.  Is this something that should really be celebrated?  I am starting to wonder if I should also be on the lookout for the MTV van and filming crew for "Teen Mom"-- just in case the parents thought that would be a brilliant idea. 

Am I the only person who thinks that this is wrong on so many different levels?

Instead of kicking the dead horse....

Just walk away from it. 

 

(This song sums up my past 2 days beautifully.)

I have to walk away again.  My father informed me today that he is 62 years old-- he is NOT going to change.   I have decided that he is the same person he was 23 years ago when I cut ties the first time.  The only thing that is different now is that I am 36-- not 13.  I feel sorry for him.  To hold on to that much bitterness, hate and anger for all these years.  He trusts no one and is paranoid to the nth degree.  No wonder his health is failing at a rapid rate. In his eyes I am not the daughter who forgave and was willing to give a second chance.  Instead, I am and will always be the daughter who walked away and betrayed him.  Sorry but I have bigger fish to fry (like the vampire squirrels and rabid sheep) other than trying to prove myself to someone who made up their mind up about me yeeeears ago.  

Like the saying goes, "Never make someone a priority in your life, when you are just an option in theirs". 

So what do I do now?  I gently put down the ticking time bomb, back up about 3 or 4 steps, turn and run away-- screaming like a mad woman. 

For the record, there has been no evidence lately of the Cullen's moving in across the street. 

No really.. I'm fine

I realize that it seems like a lifetime since I actually blogged something.  It apparently has been so long that I am shocked that my brain (in its current state) had the ability to pull my password from out of the depths of my sub-conscious mind so that I could even log on here. 

No, I was not attacked by vicious vampire squirrels or rabid sheep.  Thankfully, I have enough garlic to ward off an Italian and the neighbors dogs ward off the sheep.  

Now for the purpose of my unexpected return. I know some of you have been worried about me and I appreciate your concern.  I am not okay right now-- but I will be.  There are a few factors playing into this.  First, it has been rainy and overcast here for what seems to be an eternity.  Seriously, I think the Cullens may have moved in across the street and claimed squatters rights.  If they have-- that's fantastic.  That means that werewolves will show up, and they can help ward off the rabid sheep.  And of course, my whole life has been turned upside down and slammed on top of me over the past two weeks.  

I am not posting any of this because I want pity,sympathy, etc.  I am simply saying, I need to be in my head.  It doesn't require me to talk much, or express much emotion.  As scary as what it can be sometimes, it is the only place I can go to be honest with myself, sort through crap, throw out the garbage and keep the good.  It's also the only place I can do this without having to pay my shrink twice a week to do it in her office. 

One more thing-- please, no phone calls right now.  I really don't feel much like talking about this stuff.  It is my own personal private hell.  If you do call, and I don't answer-- do not be upset or offended.  Yes, I am avoiding.  But only for a short while.  I will call back when I am up to it. 

So... that's all for now.  I will let ya know if I see any sparkling from across the street. 

Should "Stick Figures" Get A Life?

Yesterday, an article from Marie Claire Magazine was brought to my attention.  The focus of the article was the new CBS show "Mike and Molly" and whether or not the writer found it offensive for people who are overweight to make out on TV.   Her answer??

"Yes, I think I'd be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other ... because I'd be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything"

One of my personal favorite lines is,

" Now, don't go getting the wrong impression: I have a few friends who could be called plump. I'm not some size-ist jerk."

Really?  And I bet your best friend is black, too.  (eye roll)

She went on giving advise to overweight people on how to lose weight:  Eat right, exercise, stand walk, see a nutritionist, visit your local YMCA, etc.  Make up our minds, sweetie.  I thought it would gross you out to see us do anything?  Would that not include us (and our rolls and rolls) on the treadmill or exercise bike next to you, sweating our asses off?  Let's face it, we fat people can sweat like nobody's business. 

At what point do YOU think a person is overweight?  Let's face it, Hollywood's standards and definition of overweight changes all the time.  Marilyn Monroe, considered one of the most beautiful women ever, was a size 14/16. Jean Harlow, a sex symbol of her time, was a size 12. Compared to Angelina Jolie (who is a size 6) poor Marilyn and Jean would be considered "fatties" nowadays.  

I don't understand why the show "Mike and Molly" is just now stirring up this controversy.  I don't remember any of this being a problem when the TV show "Roseanne" was on air. 

Remember them?  They actually kissed each other, hugged, made goofy inuendo's, flirted and found each other sexy!!! Oh, and don't forget-- they devoted almost an entire season to Dan and Roseanne trying desperately to have another baby.  =O  THE NERVE!!!  I loved this show, it was REAL. 

The fact of the matter is-- Overweight people are just as deserving of love and affection from others. Furthermore, we are deserving of wearing the same clothing styles as the skinny little bitches who so glumly look down their nose at us.  Quit getting prejudiced advice from movies and magazines about how you should feel beautiful.  Have you ever seen some of the people who are dishing out this crap?  Eeek Gads! 

I don't know, maybe this writer is jilted because her insanely hot boyfriend dumped her for an obese woman who had a better attitude.  Then again, I just read  her bio which states-- 

 "Though she's in her thirties, she's never been in love before - and has started to wonder if she ever will be. She's decided she has to start making dating her job if it's ever going to happen. Hence, this blog."

(Guess what Maura!!! You probably didn't help your dating issue with that glowing personality)

I have said it before-- Happiness should come from within yourself, not from outside sources. And certainly not from magazine writers who are so desperate to date that they resort to blogging.    That includes being happy with your body.  If you are happy in a size 16-----???  Then be friggin happy!  Why listen to these people who point out every last flaw until you are miserable about yourself?  If you have someone who loves you insanely despite your dress size-- BE FRIGGIN HAPPY!!!!  and for the love of all that is holy.. enjoy being with someone who is not closed minded, egotistical, pessimistic and juvenile.

She-Ra, Cooking Warrior

Today started off to be a good day.  I woke up in utter silence.  My sons are at their dad's for the summer, so that meant I didn't have to wake up to anyone fighting, arguing or antagonizing.  And best of all... I got to sleep in until 8 am!   And I remembered that this week is the last week of physical therapy for my "Franken-foot" which made it even better!  I was looking forward to my appointment today, because I really wanted to address this swelling issue that's going on.  For anyone who doesn't know, I had ankle and calf surgery almost 3 months ago.  Fun times.

Since I had a few hours of silence, I decided to do my facebooking because let me tell ya.. Cafe World is serious bi'ness that should not be taken lightly.  I had stuff cooking in there!  Which made me think... I should drag out the stock pots, make some beef vegetable soup and do some canning.  Because I am She-Ra, Cooking Warrior.. Protector against famine and hunger.

Physical therapy kicked my butt, yet again.  And again, I was told to stay off my feet as much as possible and put ice on it.  Yeah, that's gonna happen.  I realize that my physique may look like I sit on my ass all day long, but I really don't.  

I'm too old for this crap. And I got to have a wonderful convo along those lines with my best friends son about it...

It's so nice when even your 18 yr old "nephew" knows that your body is a clunker.

But, I still managed to drag out the stock pots and make the soup.  Come hell or high water, I was gonna do this! So, I broke out my crown and trusty sword ladle and got to work...  35 jars later, I ran out of canning lids.  Craaaaap.  That required me to return to the store to buy more lids, which required me to walk around... more.    

I was going to make fajita's tonight, because of course, I am invincible!  On my way home from the store, I hit the Taco Bell drive-thru because cooking again = Hordack (if you wanna know who Hordack is, click here).  And I felt drained of my super powers.  

So, here I am with forty jars of soup and a foot and ankle that is worthy of the nickname "Franken-foot".  

Tomorrow.... I am canning spaghetti sauce.

Sweet Home Indiana

I went to Florida with Tim last week and had my trusty camera with me.  Only this time, I was in my "alter personality" form, and wasn't looking for the breath taking pictures.  Instead, I found humor and horror outside my little corn fed state of Indiana.  

I think I am scared of most southerners.

So, we cross into Kentucky and suddenly I look over, see this sign (I wish to God I would've gotten a picture of it) and I had to do a double take because it said...

Seriously.. not even I can make that up.  I looked at Tim, said "What. The. Hell??" and he darn near spit his drink all over the windshield.  I'm not sure I wanna know what a "used" cow in Kentucky is exactly. 

Anyhow, I really don't remember a whole lot of the rest of the trip to Florida.  Mostly because I was still thinking about the whole used cow thing.  It really concerned me.  But, while in Florida I did get to visit my brother who has affectionately nick-named me "Franken-foot" because my foot and ankle was so swollen from the ride down there.  He took us to Ft. Meyers beach and I fell in love... right up to the point where either the water or the food didn't agree with me.   Either way, I think my insides liquefied and evacuated my body.  On the plus side-- while in the restroom cursing the water, my brother did take a breath taking picture of our view on the beach.  

Wednesday, we had to go to Miami.  I am a horrible passenger driver.  It took 2 hours to realize that my passenger brake does not work-- no matter how hard I pushed on the floor, no matter how much I wanted it to work-- it didn't. I also learned that Tim has road rage issues and I should probably hide the guns.   I would like to take this opportunity to say... YA'LL CAN'T DRIVE!!!!  When you are driving down the road, and see a BIG HONKIN BLUE SEMI... Do not believe your inner voice that says, "You can cut them off.. and you will win".

And it doesn't just stop at cutting off big semi's.  Ya'll cut each other off too!!  

And then. there are those who either talking on their phone or decide they would rather sit in traffic because this is what happens

 On our way back home, I saw this one..  I don't remember what state we were in when I saw this sign, but I had to take a picture of it.. Not because it was as disturbing as, "Used Cows For Sale", but because if I didn't remember that I was in the south, this reminded me of that fact.

It made me thankful that where I'm from.. we don't have stinkin creeks.

Now this one.. MADE MY DAY!  So, we are tooling through South Carolina and this is my view out the window.. 

First thing that hit me when I saw the shirt and towel flying around in the wind???  HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY!!!!!  Then,  I wonder why he is wearing his shirt like that? I mean, didn't he think ahead that maybe it would fly over his head and cover his face?  (Welcome to the inner workings of my mind) 

Finally, I received a sign from God (I think it was in North Carolina)..  and at that point, I knew that I would be okay.

The rainbow is God's promise to us that He will never destroy the earth again by water.  I took this rainbow as a promise that He would never subject me to idiots in the south again.