Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Instead of kicking the dead horse....

Just walk away from it. 


(This song sums up my past 2 days beautifully.)

I have to walk away again.  My father informed me today that he is 62 years old-- he is NOT going to change.   I have decided that he is the same person he was 23 years ago when I cut ties the first time.  The only thing that is different now is that I am 36-- not 13.  I feel sorry for him.  To hold on to that much bitterness, hate and anger for all these years.  He trusts no one and is paranoid to the nth degree.  No wonder his health is failing at a rapid rate. In his eyes I am not the daughter who forgave and was willing to give a second chance.  Instead, I am and will always be the daughter who walked away and betrayed him.  Sorry but I have bigger fish to fry (like the vampire squirrels and rabid sheep) other than trying to prove myself to someone who made up their mind up about me yeeeears ago.  

Like the saying goes, "Never make someone a priority in your life, when you are just an option in theirs". 

So what do I do now?  I gently put down the ticking time bomb, back up about 3 or 4 steps, turn and run away-- screaming like a mad woman. 

For the record, there has been no evidence lately of the Cullen's moving in across the street. 

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