Last night I was informed by an old friend that she peed my pants. Now I am left here wondering Did she really pee my pants?? Is that where my one and only favorite pair, that actually fits went?? (I thought maybe the dryer ate them since it seems to eat my socks too) Or is she referring to the saying, "Friendship is like peeing your pants.Everyone notices but only you feel the warmth. Thanks for being the pee in my pants."
Either way I am friggin offended!!!
Reason #1- She decided to drive the 3 hours to my house, in the middle of the night and didn't wake me to actually say, "HEY FREAK!!! I'm here!!" And STOLE my pants.. AND PEED THEM!!!
Reason #2- She is comparing me to warm human waste.
Way to go Piff.. Now I am paranoid. Like I really needed one more thing to add to my mountain of paranoia... Does this make me look fat?? How's my hair?? Makeup?? Where are my pants?? Did someone break in and take them again?? Do I smell of urine??
Good thing I have an appointment with my shrink tomorrow.. I was starting to worry that I would have nothing to talk about.